So, I'm approaching the week and a half mark on my new resolve to be healthy (okay, okay, it's a diet). Things are going really well. I've got a nice routine going with my meals. I eat about every two hours. I make sure there is a least some protein in every snack/meal and I haven't been starving or craving bad foods much. The hub has even bought fries and a burger a couple times and I didn't even take a bite. (Not that I couldn't, mind you, I just don't really want to).
I'm still trying to simmer down from how, really, angry I am at myself for all the weight gain. In April(ish) of 2009 I was at my goal weight. Now, October 2010 and I'm back to exactly where I started when I lost all that weight. We're not talking a 10 pound swing, friends. We are talking 40. Up and down and up and (hopefully) down. This weight loss is important to me on so many more levels then just being thin. But, sometimes it's hard not to look at the tag on my jeans or the fullness in my face and not really feel angry at the girl looking back. Angry for being so weak, so anxious, so lacking in self control.
But I don't want to be angry at myself. So that's the main reason I am taking action. I love my life: my family, my friends, my job, my dogs, my [well, it's almost mine] house, my body (even if it weighs more then I like, it is strong and attractive); I love all of it. And I'd rather spend my time counting a few calories along with my blessings rather then eating whatever I want and then secretly despising myself for some missteps when it comes to food and weight.
It's a learning process, but with each successful day I get a little closer to accepting myself.
Food Journal:
Breakfast: Parfait - 6-ounces low fat yogurt, 2 strawberries, sprinkle "Just Bunches" cereal (110 cals)
Snack #1: 1 pkg Carl Budig Turkey (10 grams protein!!) and 12 baby carrots (115 cals)
Lunch: Black Bean "Soup": 3/4 cooked black beans, sprinkle mozzarella cheese, 1 slice avocado (165 cals)
Snack #2: 1/4 cup edamame and 1 6-ounce low fat yogurt (130 cals)
Dinner: Applebee's Shrimp and Island Rice (375 cals)
Snack #3: 100 cal microwave popcorn bag and 1/2 protein bar (185 cals)
Total Calories: 1080 - dang it.
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You're doing a great job though. You know you've done it before and can do it again.
You are pretty determined!