Control

To anyone who struggles with food, control seems to be this four-letter-word. Because, honestly, at the root of any eating disorder (and, yes, I do consider my binge eating difficulties disordered eating), there is the issue of control. Whether it be too much, or, in my case, the lack thereof.

The hard thing about food is that no one else can control my intake for me. They could try...but then I'd turn into a 3-headed, fire-breathing dragon that would burn off their eyebrows for even suggesting I can't eat that cake. Ultimately, somewhere inside of me, I have to remind myself that I actually don't want that cake. In fact, the only thing the cake will ultimately make me feel is lack of control. And it is the stress and out-of-control nature of life that leads to the eating in the first place. Seems a little counterintuitive.

The good news? Today I have had control. I had a drinkable yogurt and fiber one cereal for breakfast. I had a pack of carl buddig, a cheese stick and carrots for lunch. I have an apply waiting in the fridge for an afternoon snack, and a big, warm, cozy bowl of oatmeal waiting to be cooked and devoured when I get home from work.

Tomorrow, hopefully, will take a cue from today and follow suit. I have a busy week, but I'm PREPARED for it. I control my response to the stress. The stress doesn't control me.

I hope...